The Political World: Voting, Tolerance, and Civility - Where Are Our Manners?

In a recent study by Public Agenda, 78% of Americans insisted that "a lack of respect and courtesy is a serious problem and we should try to address it." How people treat each other is one of the basic components of any civilized society. The source singles out two questions: (1) Will people take steps to be respectful of one another? (2) Are they willing to moderate their own desires and comforts to accommodate the needs of others? Recent news stories on the issue range from the curious to the tragic: In April 2000, Steven Clevenger of Michigan faced a possible three-months jail term and $100 fine for swearing in the presence of children (a man faced similar charges in 1998 and was convicted). In January 2002, Thomas Junta, father of a hockey-playing youngster, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter for beating another father to death at the kids' hockey practice in Massachusetts.

Only 12% of people claim that they "practically never" encounter people who are rude or disrespectful; the remainder sees them either "often" (34%) or "sometimes" (54%). The study found this to be true regardless of the demographic background of the respondents — by region of the country, income, or size of the town. What causes rudeness? Respondents to the survey say the main reason is that parents are failing to teach values to their children. Those that do, the respondents assert, have to compete with a crude, sexually explicit pop culture.

Another major influence seems to be our hectic lives. We're forced to balance work and family. The process overwhelms some. Also, there are just too many people in some places. Social scientists have long pointed to the connection between population density and stress levels — although density in the U.S. is still rather moderate. Still, in some places, there are more people now and also much more aggravation. Many of us face these things daily: we wait in long lines or drive on overcrowded highways that weren't designed for creep and crawl. The other major factor is a theme that has appeared elsewhere in this book: a lack of community. We live in the suburbs instead cities. We don't know our neighbors; our children do not play together. More of us live alone. Related families no longer live close to one another. Many of us don't volunteer. In short, it is easier to be impolite and disrespectful to total strangers.

Another very interesting statistic in the study: 41% of the respondents confessed to being rude or disrespectful themselves. We all have moments when we lose our cool. But is rudeness in our culture an epidemic? Can courtesy, to quote the old golden rule of civility, ever be contagious?

Has the way we treat each other improved at all? The next panel addresses this question.

Source: Public Agenda. Aggravating Circumstances: A Status Report on Rudeness in America. Online. Available: http://www.publicagenda.org. April 28, 2002. Figures come from a random survey of 2,013 adults conducted January 2002.