The second area that may affect a child's adjustment to a stepfamily is the age of the child. Young children adapt most easily, whereas early adolescents have the most difficulty adjusting to new stepfamilies. The adjustment is particularly difficult for early adolescents because, in addition to the new stepfamily, they are adjusting to puberty and new sexual feelings, becoming more independent from the family, experiencing egocentrism and self-consciousness, and being exposed to new peer pressures to experiment with sexuality and drugs or alcohol. These multiple stressors make it more likely that the adolescent may react negatively to the new stepparent, making it difficult to build a relationship. In addition, stepparents may be hesitant to monitor adolescents for fear of threatening the stepparent-adolescent relationship; consequently, these adolescents may be more likely to get into trouble.
Individual differences in temperament, intelligence, and behavioral patterns also may affect how well children adjust to stepfamilies. Children with easygoing temperaments, high intelligence, and good behavior are more likely to evoke positive responses from their parents and stepparents, making it more likely that these children will receive the support needed to adjust. In contrast, the stresses of living in a stepfamily are likely to magnify children's and adolescents' preexisting problems. Consequently, children with difficult temperaments or with preexisting behavior problems are likely to evoke negative reactions from their parents and new step-parents, thereby reducing the amount of support these children receive.
Parenting factors also may affect children's adjustment to stepfamilies. Children are more likely to have problems adjusting to stepfamilies if both adults bring children into the new stepfamily because parents tend to have closer relationships with their biological children. Stepchildren perceive the closer relationships between stepparents and their biological children as differential or nonequal treatment and resent their stepsiblings.
In addition, because of the stresses of adjusting to a new marriage, mothers (during the first year of the
America's most famous stepfamily—the Brady Bunch. This television sitcom was centered on two single parents, each with three children, who married to become one big family. Episode themes dealt with issues related to having new brothers, sisters, and stepparents.
Stepfathers typically initially assume a polite, nondisciplinarian role in stepfamilies partly because stepchildren (especially stepdaughters) tend to reject stepfathers' attempts at discipline. Eventually, stepfathers and stepdaughters may become involved in conflict focused on the stepfathers' authority. Consequently, stepfathers often become less supportive, less positive, and less involved in discipline than fathers in intact families. Stepfathers' disengagement from parenting is associated with poor child and adolescent adjustment. The most positive outcomes occur with younger children (especially boys) when the stepfather initially forms a warm relationship with the child and supports the mother's discipline, and later begins to provide authoritative discipline (warmth with moderate control). Early adolescents adjust best when stepfathers begin immediately to establish a warm, supportive relationship with moderate amounts of control.
In contrast, stepmothers often immediately become more involved in discipline. If the biological father supports the stepmother's discipline attempts, children generally receive more effective parenting from both parents. Stepmothers perceive parenting as more challenging than mothers in intact families, although research suggests that stepmothers are actually less negative and coercive in their interactions with their stepchildren than mothers in intact families. Stepmothers who provide authoritative parenting, providing warmth and moderate control, have stepchildren who are better adjusted than the step-children of stepmothers who provide authoritarian or neglectful parenting.
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about 1 month ago
i may only be 16 but i say get rid of him, there are more fish in the sea. I come from a divorced family and my mom remarried a great guy so go out and find one to!!!!
about 1 year ago
I am engaged to a good man. I have a 12-year old daughter. Brad, my fiance, has known her since she was 7 years old. I had a stepfather since I was five-years old. I never knew my biological father well at all. My relationship with my step-dad was okay and not until I reached about 35 did I appreciate his guidance. I did not like at all his discipline, because it came from just him, not my mom. Back to my daughter and my fiance Brad. He throws out comments which I think are harsh and inappropriate and he gets no comment from my daughter. By the way, he has two grown daughters, ages 21 and 23. I think he is on his way to disaster with my daughter. Do you have any guidance for me? Because, I would let Brad go in a minute if he doesn't change his attitude. His girls, I love. His girls do no wrong. Wrong, it is called acceptance for him.